It has been an interesting two weeks. Baby Ryan is perfect. He's an absolute doll. He eats well, sleeps well, smiles when mommy says, "I bet I can make you smile," (he also smiles when he's sleeping and when he's pooping...basically, he smiles often :) ) and he's just perfect.
Mommy, on the other hand, has been less than perfect. We were released from the hospital on Sat, July 31 and that following Tuesday, I began getting sick. Once or twice a day, I would get sick. I had a terrible nagging pain in my upper stomach that would not go away. It was worse immediately after nursing Ryan. Although it would subside at times (rare times), it never completely went away.
It is the same pain that I've had for years (going back to college). It had been pretty manageable during recent years- only flaring up once or twice a year and even during those times the pain was manageable.
During pregnancy, I never experienced the pain. It was wonderful!
But just after Ryan was born, the pain returned and with a vengeance. The pain was so constant and miserable that it began making me physically ill. I also had zero appetite (just ask Jill, she and Denny were to bring us Thai food for dinner Sunday night and I canceled on them. I NEVER cancel Thai food!). After several days of vomiting, I broke down and saw the doctor on Sunday. She put me on antispasmotic (?) medication, thinking it was a spastic biliary duct (which is a good thought since that's one of the conditions the surgeon mentioned to me several years ago when he was treating me for the same pain). The medication is a category 3 lactation medication so I was able to still nurse (they actually used to give the medication directly to infants with Colic, but stopped using it for that purpose when other, better medications hit the market I guess).
Even on the maximum dose, that medication didn't seem to help much. The pain remained constant and I continued getting sick once or twice a day. I also wasn't eating (which isn't good for a breast feeding mom).
Yesterday was my breaking point. It was the second day in a row that I woke up and immediately got sick. I didn't even get out of bed before I was vomiting everywhere. Miserable.
Even though I didn't want to involve yet another physician, I had to call Dr T since I was still under his care for a few more weeks (until my 6 weeks post partum check up). He immediately referred me to GI and within an hour I was sitting in Dr. A's office (I personally know Dr. A and he's wonderful!). A STAT CT scan, two IVs, 2 medications, and a EGD (scope down the throat into the stomach) later I was diagnosed with a very significant duodenal ulcer.
They filled me up with fluids since I was so dehydrated, gave me medication for the ulcer and I left the hospital at 7:30pm last night. It was the first night since coming home from the hospital after delivery that I felt like ME.
I'm carrying a huge amount of guilt right now because I haven't been 100% for Ryan and Hubs. The pain knocked me down and I hate that it took two weeks to get some resolution. But, I'm feeling much better this morning (fingers crossed it keeps up!) and I cannot wait to be the mom that Ryan deserves all of the time.
We're getting his newborn pictures taken today and I'm so excited because I know how much everyone is dying to see more pics of my baby :)
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Maximum swelling
Just for fun, here is a video Craig took just before I got my epidural. If you listen carefully, you can hear the lisp I acquired due to maximum swelling when I say the word "ass." It sounded more like "ath."
Here is a pic of me on Tuesday evening (24 hours before delivery). The fluids hadn't started yet, so this was how minimally swollen I was...
And, here is a pic of me 3 days post partum. See how swollen I still was after 3 days?
It doesn't matter, though. I'd do it all again if it means I get another Ryan Jamison to love on :)
Here is a pic of me on Tuesday evening (24 hours before delivery). The fluids hadn't started yet, so this was how minimally swollen I was...
And, here is a pic of me 3 days post partum. See how swollen I still was after 3 days?
It doesn't matter, though. I'd do it all again if it means I get another Ryan Jamison to love on :)
Part III
From the time we agreed upon the c-section until birth was almost 2 hours. Honestly, it could have been another 24 hours and I could have cared less. I was so relieved to finally be able to focus on the baby that I was on cloud nine.
Earlier in the evening, a good friend of mine from work, Debbie, came to the hospital. Debbie works part time in Labor & Delivery @ Memorial and having her there meant the world to me. She's very knowledgeable and a calming presence. She was my patient advocate, especially when it came to remember to ask for the ASP in my epi :)
Things really began to pick up once the c-section decision was final. Hubs was handed a pair of scrubs to change into and nurses and other staff were going over what was about to happen. I would be prepped in my l&d room and then wheeled into the nearby operating room. Hubs would stay behind in the l&d room until I was just about ready for the section, then he would be escorted into the room to be by my side during the birth.
I wasn't the least bit nervous. I was excited. I was ecstatic. I was elated.
Our family was sent to the lobby to anxiously await the news that we have a baby!
It took a little longer than anticipated to finally get back into the OR because there was some minor confusion over which anesthesiologist/nurse anesthetist would assist during the procedure. Apparently there was a cool surgical case about to happen and I honestly think they were flipping coins to see who got to attend the cool case and who got to sit in on my boring ol' c-section.
Once anesthesia was set to go, we were gravy.
The OR was much smaller than I had anticipated and it was chuck full of people. Everyone introduced themselves to me as I was wheeled in on the bed. Everyone was smiling and very friendly. For the procedure, I had to be transferred from my bed onto the OR table. I laid my arms across my chest, they rolled my entire body onto my left side, slid a board under me, then lifted me off the bed and onto the table.
Anesthesia began giving me the more heavy doses of drugs through the epi b/c I was still able to move my toes (and that made me a little nervous). After a few minutes, I was completely numb from the chest down. I couldn't feel anything.
Dr. T told me that he was going to do a "cut test" to ensure I couldn't feel anything and then the procedure would begin. I remember thinking, "where's Craig?!" I guess I passed the cut test b/c next thing I remember they were announcing the time to begin the procedure.
Finally Craig walked through the door and came to my side. I don't remember too much of what we talked about. What I do remember is the singing. I was so stinking excited and mood in the OR was so fun that I started singing "(You're) Having My Baby." I think Craig almost died from embarrassment :)...."I'm having your baby, what a lovely way of saying how much I love you."
My teeth chattered and my body was shaking uncontrollably, both from excitement as well as the anesthesia. Singing took my mind off of what was happening below the hanging gown.
Within a few minutes of Craig arriving, it was time to have this baby.
A few seconds of silence was broken by the all important question, "Daddy, do you want to announce the sex?" Craig's face lit up with excitement. He looked down at me and smiled. And with that, he stood up off the stool, leaned over the drape, waited a few seconds, then looked down at me and so proudly announced,
A BOY! "It's a boy! We have a boy!"
Craig leaned over and kissed me and then the tears began.
We have a boy. A precious baby boy.
Dr. T lifted Ryan over the drape so I could lay eyes on our beautiful baby.
My body stopped shaking and my BP immediately normalized. My heart was so content at that very moment. We have a boy.
Then Dr. T asked, "time of birth?" and the nurse replied, "9:56pm."
The next few minutes, while exciting and memorable, were also slightly anxious. The baby cried (yeah!) but he was described as "floppy" and "gray/blue" so he was immediately put on oxygen in the OR. He was briefly checked over and they decided he needed to be closely monitored in the nursery. The staff was very good about explaining everything to us. They said although he's breathing OK, he needs a little extra attention and they would be taking him away for a little while. Dr. T was especially great at this time. He calls me his "worry wort" and knows that constant communication helps relieve my anxiety. He assured me that the baby was going to be fine and once I'm done in the OR, I'll get to see him and love on him.
Before they whisked away the baby, they wrapped him up and brought him over to me. I got to kiss my baby for the first time at 10:09 pm on July 28, 2010. I'll never, ever forget that moment.
Tears streamed down my face as my baby and my husband left the OR and headed towards the nursery.
Dr T finished up with me in about 45 minutes. I was then transferred from the OR table back into my bed and wheeled into my l&d room. I laid there in the bed taking it all in and wondering how the baby was doing. Was he OK? When could I see him? There were numerous staff members shuffling in and out of the room, taking my vitals, checking my stats. But where was my baby?
It would be almost 3 hours before I got to hold my son for the first time.
In the meantime, Craig returned to my l&d room, sans the baby who was still being tended to in the nursery. We hugged and cried. "We have a baby!" We shared a few intimate moments before the grandparents joined us in the room.
My parents and Craig's parents walked in, looking around the room for the baby. It was difficult to explain that everything is OK, but the baby is in the nursery getting some extra attention. Obviously, everyone was expecting to see and hold the baby.
But then the moment everyone had been waiting for-- is it a boy or a girl??
It's a boy!
I loved announcing, "It's a boy!" It was so exciting and totally worth the wait!!
Then, the next best moment....the name revelation:
I could not wait to FINALLY announce the baby's name! It's a special name because my mom and my grandfather's middle name is Jami(e)son. We've known since day 1 that the baby's middle name would be Jamison and we quickly picked out Ryan for the boy. So for nine long months, I waited for this moment to share with my mom the baby's name.
There is a story behind the spelling of Jamison, but I'll leave that for another day :)
After the hugs and tears subsided, the family made their way to the nursery to see baby Ryan.
After several minutes, they returned and I bombarded them with questions: Is he OK? Who does he look like? Does he have hair? What color are his eyes? When can I hold him?
Remember, I hadn't really seen my baby yet.
The next set of visitors, Jennie, Matt, and Katie, came into the room, again, expecting to see a baby. We explained the situation, announced the sex and the name to them, and they took off towards the nursery.
Craig got to be with Ryan in the nursery, making sure he was in good hands.
As the hours went by, everyone eventually called it a night and left the hospital. The long-awaited-much-anticipated birth of baby Ryan had come and gone.
And then....around 12:30am, they brought me my baby for the first time. Just Craig and I and baby Ryan were in the room. After nearly 9 months, I finally got to hold and love on Ryan from the outside :)
To be continued...
Earlier in the evening, a good friend of mine from work, Debbie, came to the hospital. Debbie works part time in Labor & Delivery @ Memorial and having her there meant the world to me. She's very knowledgeable and a calming presence. She was my patient advocate, especially when it came to remember to ask for the ASP in my epi :)
Things really began to pick up once the c-section decision was final. Hubs was handed a pair of scrubs to change into and nurses and other staff were going over what was about to happen. I would be prepped in my l&d room and then wheeled into the nearby operating room. Hubs would stay behind in the l&d room until I was just about ready for the section, then he would be escorted into the room to be by my side during the birth.
I wasn't the least bit nervous. I was excited. I was ecstatic. I was elated.
Our family was sent to the lobby to anxiously await the news that we have a baby!
It took a little longer than anticipated to finally get back into the OR because there was some minor confusion over which anesthesiologist/nurse anesthetist would assist during the procedure. Apparently there was a cool surgical case about to happen and I honestly think they were flipping coins to see who got to attend the cool case and who got to sit in on my boring ol' c-section.
Once anesthesia was set to go, we were gravy.
The OR was much smaller than I had anticipated and it was chuck full of people. Everyone introduced themselves to me as I was wheeled in on the bed. Everyone was smiling and very friendly. For the procedure, I had to be transferred from my bed onto the OR table. I laid my arms across my chest, they rolled my entire body onto my left side, slid a board under me, then lifted me off the bed and onto the table.
Anesthesia began giving me the more heavy doses of drugs through the epi b/c I was still able to move my toes (and that made me a little nervous). After a few minutes, I was completely numb from the chest down. I couldn't feel anything.
Dr. T told me that he was going to do a "cut test" to ensure I couldn't feel anything and then the procedure would begin. I remember thinking, "where's Craig?!" I guess I passed the cut test b/c next thing I remember they were announcing the time to begin the procedure.
Finally Craig walked through the door and came to my side. I don't remember too much of what we talked about. What I do remember is the singing. I was so stinking excited and mood in the OR was so fun that I started singing "(You're) Having My Baby." I think Craig almost died from embarrassment :)...."I'm having your baby, what a lovely way of saying how much I love you."
My teeth chattered and my body was shaking uncontrollably, both from excitement as well as the anesthesia. Singing took my mind off of what was happening below the hanging gown.
Within a few minutes of Craig arriving, it was time to have this baby.
A few seconds of silence was broken by the all important question, "Daddy, do you want to announce the sex?" Craig's face lit up with excitement. He looked down at me and smiled. And with that, he stood up off the stool, leaned over the drape, waited a few seconds, then looked down at me and so proudly announced,
"It's a BOY!"
A BOY! "It's a boy! We have a boy!"
Craig leaned over and kissed me and then the tears began.
We have a boy. A precious baby boy.
Dr. T lifted Ryan over the drape so I could lay eyes on our beautiful baby.
My body stopped shaking and my BP immediately normalized. My heart was so content at that very moment. We have a boy.Then Dr. T asked, "time of birth?" and the nurse replied, "9:56pm."
The next few minutes, while exciting and memorable, were also slightly anxious. The baby cried (yeah!) but he was described as "floppy" and "gray/blue" so he was immediately put on oxygen in the OR. He was briefly checked over and they decided he needed to be closely monitored in the nursery. The staff was very good about explaining everything to us. They said although he's breathing OK, he needs a little extra attention and they would be taking him away for a little while. Dr. T was especially great at this time. He calls me his "worry wort" and knows that constant communication helps relieve my anxiety. He assured me that the baby was going to be fine and once I'm done in the OR, I'll get to see him and love on him.
Before they whisked away the baby, they wrapped him up and brought him over to me. I got to kiss my baby for the first time at 10:09 pm on July 28, 2010. I'll never, ever forget that moment.
Tears streamed down my face as my baby and my husband left the OR and headed towards the nursery.
Dr T finished up with me in about 45 minutes. I was then transferred from the OR table back into my bed and wheeled into my l&d room. I laid there in the bed taking it all in and wondering how the baby was doing. Was he OK? When could I see him? There were numerous staff members shuffling in and out of the room, taking my vitals, checking my stats. But where was my baby?
It would be almost 3 hours before I got to hold my son for the first time.
In the meantime, Craig returned to my l&d room, sans the baby who was still being tended to in the nursery. We hugged and cried. "We have a baby!" We shared a few intimate moments before the grandparents joined us in the room.
My parents and Craig's parents walked in, looking around the room for the baby. It was difficult to explain that everything is OK, but the baby is in the nursery getting some extra attention. Obviously, everyone was expecting to see and hold the baby.
But then the moment everyone had been waiting for-- is it a boy or a girl??
It's a boy!
I loved announcing, "It's a boy!" It was so exciting and totally worth the wait!!
Then, the next best moment....the name revelation:
I could not wait to FINALLY announce the baby's name! It's a special name because my mom and my grandfather's middle name is Jami(e)son. We've known since day 1 that the baby's middle name would be Jamison and we quickly picked out Ryan for the boy. So for nine long months, I waited for this moment to share with my mom the baby's name.
There is a story behind the spelling of Jamison, but I'll leave that for another day :)
After the hugs and tears subsided, the family made their way to the nursery to see baby Ryan.
After several minutes, they returned and I bombarded them with questions: Is he OK? Who does he look like? Does he have hair? What color are his eyes? When can I hold him?
Remember, I hadn't really seen my baby yet.
The next set of visitors, Jennie, Matt, and Katie, came into the room, again, expecting to see a baby. We explained the situation, announced the sex and the name to them, and they took off towards the nursery.
Craig got to be with Ryan in the nursery, making sure he was in good hands.
As the hours went by, everyone eventually called it a night and left the hospital. The long-awaited-much-anticipated birth of baby Ryan had come and gone.
And then....around 12:30am, they brought me my baby for the first time. Just Craig and I and baby Ryan were in the room. After nearly 9 months, I finally got to hold and love on Ryan from the outside :)
To be continued...
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Part II
We arrived at the hospital at 6pm and got settled into the labor and delivery room. I was immediately hooked up the BP machine, which was set to check my BP every 15 minutes. The first few readings were high (no big surprises there), but the longer I laid there after getting settled, the BP came down a little bit.
They hooked me up to external monitors and we were all *VERY* surprised to see that I was apparently having regular contractions every 5 minutes. No one was more surprised than me. I could feel my stomach getting hard, but it wasn't really painful, just uncomfortable.
Within a few minutes, Kelly, the night nurse, came in to start my IV. (P.S. LOVE KELLY!) This is where the fun really began. I was so swollen that Kelly couldn't find a vein to place the IV. She tried my left hand, my left arm, my right hand, my right arm...she placed and replaced the turnicate, tying it tighter in an attempt to raise a few veins. No such luck. After 15-20 minutes, she finally placed the IV in my right arm, in the elbow crease where they normally draw blood. She commented that that is basically the worst place to put an IV, but there were no other options. She told me that subsequent nurses would come in and question the placement site, but she said to tell them to try and find another suitable place and when they can't find one, they'll agree that she had no other choice.
Sure enough, almost every nurse after her that came and went over the next 3 days questioned why I had the IV in that location. I politely told them that Kelly did her best and if they wanted to try and find a better place, they could feel free to do so. Nearly all of them tried, and each one of them failed :) Turns out Kelly knew what she was doing afterall ;)
The problem with this placement is that once they started the pitocin, I couldn't bend my arm. At. All. When I did, the pit drip would stop and an alarm on the IV machine would sound. This happened every 20 minutes or so for over 24 hours. It drove me crazy. It drove hubs crazy. It drove the nurses crazy. But there wasn't anything we could do about it. I would be asleep during the night and the alarm would sound. It eventually got to the point where I would let the alarm sound for 10 mins or so before I summoned the nurse to fix it. She would have to come in and reset the drip. I felt badly that this happened so frequently, so I became accustomed to the noise in an attempt to not disturb the nurses very often.
If you saw me in the days leading up to the delivery, you knew how awful swollen I was, despite having been on strict bed rest. Now imagine me in the hospital hooked up to IV fluids. My skin was so tight that just moving around in the bed was a challenge. My legs were giant nubs. I had no knees, no ankles, and my feet were swallowing my toes. My arms and hands swelled, as did my face, nose, cheeks, lips, and tongue. It was ridiculous. (6 days after delivery I went back to T's office to have my staples removed and Angela said to me, "Oh my God! You're so skinny!" It had been so long since I hadn't swollen that people who didn't know me very well never realized just how swollen I had become. I was so swollen that when I lost the fluid and was back down to a size 16/18, she thought I was skinny!)
I had my IV set and I was resting pretty comfortably when Dr T came in to start the induction about 8pm. I opted for the balloon induction because it seemed more "natural" (if there is such a thing as a natural induction) and it is more effective than the traditional cervadil route. With a balloon induction, a woman can grow to 5 cm dilated within 4-5 hours. The way the induction works is this: a foley cath is strung through the cervix. A balloon is placed on the inside of the cervix and filled with saline so the balloon grows to about 5 cm. A second balloon sits on the outside of the cervix and is also inflated with saline. The idea is that the two balloons apply pressure to the cervix, eventually thinning it out and dialating it to 5cm. Once this happens, the internal cervical balloon falls out b/c the cervical opening is bigger than the balloon. Like I said, this normally happens within just a few hours.
During the placement of the balloons, my bed was raised very high, as Dr. T was standing when he placed the cath. I was very, very nervous b/c every time I had been checked thus far, my cervix was very high and "under the baby." I had my doubts that even Dr. T could find it in order to place the balloon. Between the speculum and his skill, Dr T was able to place the balloons. During the actual process, I was blasting Melissa Ethridge's "I Run for Life" on the stereo. It was my fight song as I called it. I needed something to distract me from the discomfort and nerves and what better song to distract you than one about fighting for life? I figured if women could go through more pain than I was enduring in order to fight for their lives, I could handle a balloon catheder when the end result was going to be a beautiful baby. Dr T and the nurses probably thought I was crazy, but I just laid there and sang, sang, sang. Within a few minutes, everything was in place and Dr T commented on how awesome I did :)
Now the waiting game began. We had a few visitors that night and then around midnight, Hubs and I called it a night.
About 2 am, I awakened because the contractions were becoming much stronger. (Even though I mentioned the pitocin drip above, that hadn't actually been started yet.) At this point, I knew I had a long journey still ahead of me. I knew that Bubs was still sitting "high" and if I didn't get rest, then delivery would be impossible. I asked for some medication to help with the pain and got IV Stadol. It took the edge off enough that I could sleep, although I could still feel each contraction.
Wednesday morning, Dr T made his rounds and of course that included checking in on his favorite patient. He seemed surprised to learn that the balloon hadn't fallen out during the night. I knew what this meant- he needed to check me (with the balloons still in place). OUCH. He went in, over the first balloon, felt the second one which was still inside the cervix. He tugged on it, pulling it about 3/4 of the way through the cervix, then decided I still wasn't dilated enough and he shoved it back in. (I'm sure he didn't actually *shove* it back in, but thats what it felt like anyway). At this point, he ordered the pitocin drip to get things moving along.
They also did some labs and poked around my body more. Turns out that I was hyperreflexive. Not a big deal (I thought) but come to find out, neurological symptoms such as hyperrflexia are indicative of eclampsia and can quickly lead to serious, serious problems. The hyperrflexia combined with my headache from a few days before were enough to really worry the good doctor and he immediately ordered a mag sulfate via IV. I could have cared less about the mag sulfate IV except that it meant I also needed to have a urine cath placed. I DID NOT WANT A URINE CATHEDER!
This is where things began to sour. I didn't realize it at the time, but the mag sulfate really altered my mood. I became very irritable and teary all of the time. In addition, the placement of the urine cath HURT and it continued to hurt for several hours. I had a constant burning senstation in my bladder and it was incredibly uncomfortable. I HATED it. I quickly grew to hate the idea of this mag sulfate.
The next several hours were a blur to me. I remember being very aggitated and upset (due to the cath). Every time a nurse walked in and asked if I needed anything, I would always reply something to the effect of , "yes, please take this stupid cath out of me." I'm pretty sure I was making everyone around me just as miseable as I had been. I didn't mean to do this- I blame the mag sulfate. I was also upset because I felt that the good doctor was just being overly cautious and ordered the mag sulfate as a precaution. I honestly didn't feel as though I needed it. But I had it and that was that.
Over the next few hours, I asked for the epidural a number of times. It wasn't because of the contractions. I needed it b/c the discomfort from the urine cath was driving me absolutely crazy and I wasn't enjoying this birth experience at all. I felt I had been very patient and understanding of all of the medical intervention I had endured thus far and I didn't feel that asking for the epi was asking for too much. The nurse on duty, though, kept stating that epis are reserved for when the contractions were closer together (like 3 mins apart). I don't care! I didn't want the epi for the contractions; I needed it to keep me from pulling this stupid, stupid cath out of my body!! Remember, by this point, I had THREE balloons "down there" all taking up space and (in my mind) keeping the baby from dropping b/c there was NO MORE ROOM DOWN THERE!
But then things started to turn around. MONA walked through my door! Mona is a good family friend and a labor and delivery nurse. I had written a letter to the hospital asking that she be allowed to be my labor nurse when the time came (assuming she wasn't already working). She was given special permission to do this, however because I was induced and this baby was coming on a Wednesday, Mona wouldn't be able to attend the birth until after 6pm b/c she teaches nursing school in St. Louis on Wednesdays. I was incredibly disappointed that she wouldn't be there. But then, around noon, Mona came walking through the door! I about jumped out of the bed, balloons and catheders be damned!! A HUGE sense of relief came over me. Mona was able to finagle her way out of her afternoon duties at the nursing school (her students apparently loved me for cutting their day short!) and she raced to the hospital. Thank God for Mona.
Mona got the ball rolling on the epidural. I can't recall what time I got it, but that (of course) is a story too :) The nurse anesthetist that gave me the epi placed it without incident. I was actually pretty calm, leaning over towards Hubs, tapping out a song with my fingers on his back. Once it was placed, she told me that she was going to do a test injection and that if I heard ringing in my ears or got blurry vision that I needed to let her know. But, before she could inject me, I suddenly got tunnel hearing and I started seeing black spots. I told her about this and then the last thing I remember was telling Craig I couldn't hear very well...then I passed out. Apparently my BP bottomed out once the epi was placed and my body didn't like that very much.
I just wasn't winning the battle of the BP :) It was either too high or too low :)
The weirdest part of that whole situation was that I was only passed out for about 5 seconds, but when I came to, it felt like I had been asleep for 3 hours. In fact, I distinctly remember having an entire dream during that time. The first words I said were, "I just had the weirdest dream." The the nurse told me I had only been out a few seconds and I could have sworn I was out for longer. Then I asked the all important question, "but you got the epidural placed, right?!" OH yes, that was in place and working well.
For the next several hours, I felt great. Now that the pain and discomfort from the cath was gone, I felt like me again. I was laughing, joking, smiling...I was finally able to start enjoying the fact that within a few short hours, we would be meeting our baby for the first time!!
About 5pm, Dr T came in and removed the balloon cath. I still hadn't dilated much past 4 but fortuantely b/c I had the epidural, when he removed the balloon cath and it "popped," I didn't feel anything. Unfortunately I had begun to start running a fever, so they started IV antibiotics (if you're keeping track, that makes FOUR bags running through my IV...saline, pitocin, mag sulfate, and now an antibiotic). Can you imagine my swelling now?!! After he removed the induction cath, he broke my water (another "don't do" item marked off my birth plan :) ) and placed internal monitors since my BP was still running high, I started with a fever and I was still experiencing neurological symptoms (internal monitoring...another "don't do" item marked off my birth plan).
The plan was to wait a few more hours now that my water had been broken to see how much farther I would dilate. We also needed the baby to drop since Bubs was no where near the birth canal. At this point, I saw the writing on the c-section wall. At 36 weeks, Bubs was not ready to make his/her Earthly appearance. Of course Bubs hadn't dropped any. Bubs didn't want to come out. My heart, on the other hand, couldn't handle the pressure too much longer.
Within an hour or so of the water breaking, I started feeling badly. The BOLA injection from the epi was wearing off and I could feel the cath again. Mona checked me and I still wasn't dialating much so she upped the pitocin. I had a total emotional breakdown at that point. It had been over 24 hours since we started the induction and although I hadn't even pushed once, the cards were heavily stacked against me for a vaginal delivery. Between the excessive fluid, the high BP, the increasing fever, the stupid mag sulfate and accompanying cath, and the fact that the baby wasn't dropping, I hit a low.
I began to accept the inevitability of the c-section. And I was quicly becoming OK with that.
What focused me the most was that during this entire process, I hadn't been able to get excited about having a baby. Instead, I was focusing on making one decision after another when medical issues popped up. For 24 hours straight, we were focused on ME and I didn't want that. I wanted to focus on Bubs. I knew that if we just decided to do the c-section, I could spend the last hour or so before delivery getting excited about welcoming our baby into this world.
So then I started campaigning.
Every person that walked in the room was given explicit instructions by me to please let Dr. T know that I wanted a c-section. Every person. Mr. Janitor? Yes, please tell T of my wishes. Dietary lady wondering what I want for breakfast tomorrow? Yes, I'll take a bagel with cream cheese. Oh and please mention to Dr. T that I would like that c-section I've been avoiding for 36 weeks now. Thanks.
Mona checked me routinely and felt that I was "kinda" starting to dialte more. NO! Please Mona, don't tell that to Dr. T. Tell him I'm stuck and that I want a c-section. PLEASE!
I honestly didn't know how with my BP problems, anyone would want me to endure a physical labor and delivery process. There is NO WAY my heart would handle that well.
About 8pm, T returned. He came walking into the room, checked me and then it was done. I was to have an immediate c-section. THANK GOD!
During the next hour, every weight of the world was off my shoulders. Every pain, discomfort, negative thought..everything was gone. I was SO EXCITED about focusing on Bubs that nothing else mattered. I could finally direct my attention where I wanted it to be this entire time: on our baby. And it felt wonderful.
To be continued...
They hooked me up to external monitors and we were all *VERY* surprised to see that I was apparently having regular contractions every 5 minutes. No one was more surprised than me. I could feel my stomach getting hard, but it wasn't really painful, just uncomfortable.
Within a few minutes, Kelly, the night nurse, came in to start my IV. (P.S. LOVE KELLY!) This is where the fun really began. I was so swollen that Kelly couldn't find a vein to place the IV. She tried my left hand, my left arm, my right hand, my right arm...she placed and replaced the turnicate, tying it tighter in an attempt to raise a few veins. No such luck. After 15-20 minutes, she finally placed the IV in my right arm, in the elbow crease where they normally draw blood. She commented that that is basically the worst place to put an IV, but there were no other options. She told me that subsequent nurses would come in and question the placement site, but she said to tell them to try and find another suitable place and when they can't find one, they'll agree that she had no other choice.
Sure enough, almost every nurse after her that came and went over the next 3 days questioned why I had the IV in that location. I politely told them that Kelly did her best and if they wanted to try and find a better place, they could feel free to do so. Nearly all of them tried, and each one of them failed :) Turns out Kelly knew what she was doing afterall ;)
The problem with this placement is that once they started the pitocin, I couldn't bend my arm. At. All. When I did, the pit drip would stop and an alarm on the IV machine would sound. This happened every 20 minutes or so for over 24 hours. It drove me crazy. It drove hubs crazy. It drove the nurses crazy. But there wasn't anything we could do about it. I would be asleep during the night and the alarm would sound. It eventually got to the point where I would let the alarm sound for 10 mins or so before I summoned the nurse to fix it. She would have to come in and reset the drip. I felt badly that this happened so frequently, so I became accustomed to the noise in an attempt to not disturb the nurses very often.
If you saw me in the days leading up to the delivery, you knew how awful swollen I was, despite having been on strict bed rest. Now imagine me in the hospital hooked up to IV fluids. My skin was so tight that just moving around in the bed was a challenge. My legs were giant nubs. I had no knees, no ankles, and my feet were swallowing my toes. My arms and hands swelled, as did my face, nose, cheeks, lips, and tongue. It was ridiculous. (6 days after delivery I went back to T's office to have my staples removed and Angela said to me, "Oh my God! You're so skinny!" It had been so long since I hadn't swollen that people who didn't know me very well never realized just how swollen I had become. I was so swollen that when I lost the fluid and was back down to a size 16/18, she thought I was skinny!)
I had my IV set and I was resting pretty comfortably when Dr T came in to start the induction about 8pm. I opted for the balloon induction because it seemed more "natural" (if there is such a thing as a natural induction) and it is more effective than the traditional cervadil route. With a balloon induction, a woman can grow to 5 cm dilated within 4-5 hours. The way the induction works is this: a foley cath is strung through the cervix. A balloon is placed on the inside of the cervix and filled with saline so the balloon grows to about 5 cm. A second balloon sits on the outside of the cervix and is also inflated with saline. The idea is that the two balloons apply pressure to the cervix, eventually thinning it out and dialating it to 5cm. Once this happens, the internal cervical balloon falls out b/c the cervical opening is bigger than the balloon. Like I said, this normally happens within just a few hours.
During the placement of the balloons, my bed was raised very high, as Dr. T was standing when he placed the cath. I was very, very nervous b/c every time I had been checked thus far, my cervix was very high and "under the baby." I had my doubts that even Dr. T could find it in order to place the balloon. Between the speculum and his skill, Dr T was able to place the balloons. During the actual process, I was blasting Melissa Ethridge's "I Run for Life" on the stereo. It was my fight song as I called it. I needed something to distract me from the discomfort and nerves and what better song to distract you than one about fighting for life? I figured if women could go through more pain than I was enduring in order to fight for their lives, I could handle a balloon catheder when the end result was going to be a beautiful baby. Dr T and the nurses probably thought I was crazy, but I just laid there and sang, sang, sang. Within a few minutes, everything was in place and Dr T commented on how awesome I did :)
Now the waiting game began. We had a few visitors that night and then around midnight, Hubs and I called it a night.
About 2 am, I awakened because the contractions were becoming much stronger. (Even though I mentioned the pitocin drip above, that hadn't actually been started yet.) At this point, I knew I had a long journey still ahead of me. I knew that Bubs was still sitting "high" and if I didn't get rest, then delivery would be impossible. I asked for some medication to help with the pain and got IV Stadol. It took the edge off enough that I could sleep, although I could still feel each contraction.
Wednesday morning, Dr T made his rounds and of course that included checking in on his favorite patient. He seemed surprised to learn that the balloon hadn't fallen out during the night. I knew what this meant- he needed to check me (with the balloons still in place). OUCH. He went in, over the first balloon, felt the second one which was still inside the cervix. He tugged on it, pulling it about 3/4 of the way through the cervix, then decided I still wasn't dilated enough and he shoved it back in. (I'm sure he didn't actually *shove* it back in, but thats what it felt like anyway). At this point, he ordered the pitocin drip to get things moving along.
They also did some labs and poked around my body more. Turns out that I was hyperreflexive. Not a big deal (I thought) but come to find out, neurological symptoms such as hyperrflexia are indicative of eclampsia and can quickly lead to serious, serious problems. The hyperrflexia combined with my headache from a few days before were enough to really worry the good doctor and he immediately ordered a mag sulfate via IV. I could have cared less about the mag sulfate IV except that it meant I also needed to have a urine cath placed. I DID NOT WANT A URINE CATHEDER!
This is where things began to sour. I didn't realize it at the time, but the mag sulfate really altered my mood. I became very irritable and teary all of the time. In addition, the placement of the urine cath HURT and it continued to hurt for several hours. I had a constant burning senstation in my bladder and it was incredibly uncomfortable. I HATED it. I quickly grew to hate the idea of this mag sulfate.
The next several hours were a blur to me. I remember being very aggitated and upset (due to the cath). Every time a nurse walked in and asked if I needed anything, I would always reply something to the effect of , "yes, please take this stupid cath out of me." I'm pretty sure I was making everyone around me just as miseable as I had been. I didn't mean to do this- I blame the mag sulfate. I was also upset because I felt that the good doctor was just being overly cautious and ordered the mag sulfate as a precaution. I honestly didn't feel as though I needed it. But I had it and that was that.
Over the next few hours, I asked for the epidural a number of times. It wasn't because of the contractions. I needed it b/c the discomfort from the urine cath was driving me absolutely crazy and I wasn't enjoying this birth experience at all. I felt I had been very patient and understanding of all of the medical intervention I had endured thus far and I didn't feel that asking for the epi was asking for too much. The nurse on duty, though, kept stating that epis are reserved for when the contractions were closer together (like 3 mins apart). I don't care! I didn't want the epi for the contractions; I needed it to keep me from pulling this stupid, stupid cath out of my body!! Remember, by this point, I had THREE balloons "down there" all taking up space and (in my mind) keeping the baby from dropping b/c there was NO MORE ROOM DOWN THERE!
But then things started to turn around. MONA walked through my door! Mona is a good family friend and a labor and delivery nurse. I had written a letter to the hospital asking that she be allowed to be my labor nurse when the time came (assuming she wasn't already working). She was given special permission to do this, however because I was induced and this baby was coming on a Wednesday, Mona wouldn't be able to attend the birth until after 6pm b/c she teaches nursing school in St. Louis on Wednesdays. I was incredibly disappointed that she wouldn't be there. But then, around noon, Mona came walking through the door! I about jumped out of the bed, balloons and catheders be damned!! A HUGE sense of relief came over me. Mona was able to finagle her way out of her afternoon duties at the nursing school (her students apparently loved me for cutting their day short!) and she raced to the hospital. Thank God for Mona.
Mona got the ball rolling on the epidural. I can't recall what time I got it, but that (of course) is a story too :) The nurse anesthetist that gave me the epi placed it without incident. I was actually pretty calm, leaning over towards Hubs, tapping out a song with my fingers on his back. Once it was placed, she told me that she was going to do a test injection and that if I heard ringing in my ears or got blurry vision that I needed to let her know. But, before she could inject me, I suddenly got tunnel hearing and I started seeing black spots. I told her about this and then the last thing I remember was telling Craig I couldn't hear very well...then I passed out. Apparently my BP bottomed out once the epi was placed and my body didn't like that very much.
I just wasn't winning the battle of the BP :) It was either too high or too low :)
The weirdest part of that whole situation was that I was only passed out for about 5 seconds, but when I came to, it felt like I had been asleep for 3 hours. In fact, I distinctly remember having an entire dream during that time. The first words I said were, "I just had the weirdest dream." The the nurse told me I had only been out a few seconds and I could have sworn I was out for longer. Then I asked the all important question, "but you got the epidural placed, right?!" OH yes, that was in place and working well.
For the next several hours, I felt great. Now that the pain and discomfort from the cath was gone, I felt like me again. I was laughing, joking, smiling...I was finally able to start enjoying the fact that within a few short hours, we would be meeting our baby for the first time!!
About 5pm, Dr T came in and removed the balloon cath. I still hadn't dilated much past 4 but fortuantely b/c I had the epidural, when he removed the balloon cath and it "popped," I didn't feel anything. Unfortunately I had begun to start running a fever, so they started IV antibiotics (if you're keeping track, that makes FOUR bags running through my IV...saline, pitocin, mag sulfate, and now an antibiotic). Can you imagine my swelling now?!! After he removed the induction cath, he broke my water (another "don't do" item marked off my birth plan :) ) and placed internal monitors since my BP was still running high, I started with a fever and I was still experiencing neurological symptoms (internal monitoring...another "don't do" item marked off my birth plan).
The plan was to wait a few more hours now that my water had been broken to see how much farther I would dilate. We also needed the baby to drop since Bubs was no where near the birth canal. At this point, I saw the writing on the c-section wall. At 36 weeks, Bubs was not ready to make his/her Earthly appearance. Of course Bubs hadn't dropped any. Bubs didn't want to come out. My heart, on the other hand, couldn't handle the pressure too much longer.
Within an hour or so of the water breaking, I started feeling badly. The BOLA injection from the epi was wearing off and I could feel the cath again. Mona checked me and I still wasn't dialating much so she upped the pitocin. I had a total emotional breakdown at that point. It had been over 24 hours since we started the induction and although I hadn't even pushed once, the cards were heavily stacked against me for a vaginal delivery. Between the excessive fluid, the high BP, the increasing fever, the stupid mag sulfate and accompanying cath, and the fact that the baby wasn't dropping, I hit a low.
I began to accept the inevitability of the c-section. And I was quicly becoming OK with that.
What focused me the most was that during this entire process, I hadn't been able to get excited about having a baby. Instead, I was focusing on making one decision after another when medical issues popped up. For 24 hours straight, we were focused on ME and I didn't want that. I wanted to focus on Bubs. I knew that if we just decided to do the c-section, I could spend the last hour or so before delivery getting excited about welcoming our baby into this world.
So then I started campaigning.
Every person that walked in the room was given explicit instructions by me to please let Dr. T know that I wanted a c-section. Every person. Mr. Janitor? Yes, please tell T of my wishes. Dietary lady wondering what I want for breakfast tomorrow? Yes, I'll take a bagel with cream cheese. Oh and please mention to Dr. T that I would like that c-section I've been avoiding for 36 weeks now. Thanks.
Mona checked me routinely and felt that I was "kinda" starting to dialte more. NO! Please Mona, don't tell that to Dr. T. Tell him I'm stuck and that I want a c-section. PLEASE!
I honestly didn't know how with my BP problems, anyone would want me to endure a physical labor and delivery process. There is NO WAY my heart would handle that well.
About 8pm, T returned. He came walking into the room, checked me and then it was done. I was to have an immediate c-section. THANK GOD!
During the next hour, every weight of the world was off my shoulders. Every pain, discomfort, negative thought..everything was gone. I was SO EXCITED about focusing on Bubs that nothing else mattered. I could finally direct my attention where I wanted it to be this entire time: on our baby. And it felt wonderful.
To be continued...
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!!!
We are so pleased to announce the birth of our son, Ryan Jamison, at 9:56 PM.
Ryan weighs 6 lbs 9 oz and measures 18 1/2 inches long!
Both mom and baby are doing great. Can't wait to share pictures sometime tomorrow morning!
Thanks again to everyone for the love and support!
XOXO,
Mommy and Daddy!
Ryan weighs 6 lbs 9 oz and measures 18 1/2 inches long!
Both mom and baby are doing great. Can't wait to share pictures sometime tomorrow morning!
Thanks again to everyone for the love and support!
XOXO,
Mommy and Daddy!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Update on the Update
Lab work came back perfect. Dr T said the only abnormal was a titer he drew which showed a high level of wild'n'craziness (see why I love this guy??). I told him that's our little secret ;) You know, HIPAA and all.
BP yesterday was good.
Swelling is almost gone! I have ankle bones, you can see veins...I'm no longer mistaking my toes for baby sausages. And, as always, I FEEL GOOD.
BP this morning, not so good (144/88). BP at T's office today, not so good.
Verdict: Bed rest indefinitely.
I tried to get him to agree to a modified bed rest (work in the morning, rest in the afternoon). His response, "I'm not playing around with this."
I'm really trying to just accept this and make the most of it. I'm still able to do SOME work from home (thank God I have wonderful coworkers who pick up right where I left off) and I feel as though I'm about to go crazy making lists. We all know how I feel about lists. Even if I won't be able to accomplish anything on said lists, I can still make 'em!
Tosit lay around and pout about the situation isn't helpful (and probably does more harm to my BP). Instead, I'm going to do what I can with work, and then spend time continuing to prepare for Bubs. I do have several baby books I need to read/re-read, so I guess that's a start.
T said I need to use this time to learn how to relax and accept that which is out of my control. He said these new found skills will come in handy post-delivery. Something tells me that, as always, he's right.
Until then, XOXO...
BP yesterday was good.
Swelling is almost gone! I have ankle bones, you can see veins...I'm no longer mistaking my toes for baby sausages. And, as always, I FEEL GOOD.
BP this morning, not so good (144/88). BP at T's office today, not so good.
Verdict: Bed rest indefinitely.
I tried to get him to agree to a modified bed rest (work in the morning, rest in the afternoon). His response, "I'm not playing around with this."
I'm really trying to just accept this and make the most of it. I'm still able to do SOME work from home (thank God I have wonderful coworkers who pick up right where I left off) and I feel as though I'm about to go crazy making lists. We all know how I feel about lists. Even if I won't be able to accomplish anything on said lists, I can still make 'em!
To
T said I need to use this time to learn how to relax and accept that which is out of my control. He said these new found skills will come in handy post-delivery. Something tells me that, as always, he's right.
Until then, XOXO...
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Update
You won't find this update on Facebook because...well because I didn't want to post it there.
I feel good. Sure, I have the usual aches and pains that accompany being nearly 36 weeks pregnant, but in general, I feel good.
My heart, on the other hand, isn't handling the excess fluid very well. Over the past week or so, my swelling has been maximized which has lead to a sudden increase in my blood pressure. Until about 2 weeks ago, my BP was averaging 120/70...PERFECT! Totally perfect. Even though I had been dealing with swelling in some form or fashion since the 18th week, my BP remained excellent until just recently. Average BP yesterday was 150/102. Thats really high. And, was a big increase over my BP during my OB visit just a few days earlier.
The bottom number of a BP is the pressure your heart exerts when it's between beats... that number should be lower (70-80)...so the fact that my heart isn't really resting between beats is a slight problem.
I called my BP readings into Dr. T and he said I needed to come in for a visit. His Medical Assistant also told me over the phone that he would be putting me on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. This drew a huge laugh from me, which quickly subsided when Angela informed me that she wasn't kidding.
BED REST FOR FIVE WEEKS?
SERIOUSLY?!
Of course, I started crying (for only the 3rd time during pregnancy).
Looking back, the tears weren't really about being on bed rest. I'll do whatever I have to do to ensure Bub's safety and health.
As much as I hate to admit it, the tears were about control. I know how I want this delivery to happen and after hearing that bed rest is my likely future for the next month, my mind immediately jumped to induction and then c-section...two things I DO NOT want. Every night for weeks, I've been sitting on the yoga ball to open up my hips and begin the cervical dilation. I rock and roll on the ball, patiently swaying to and fro, mentally picturing things "opening up" down there.
Five weeks of bed rest will ruin the progress I've made up to this point. Lying down, abdomen wide open allowing the baby to shift into whatever position it wants to (instead of being encouraged to stay in the head down, face down position).....it's counterproductive to what I know needs to happen for labor and delivery.
I wasn't too concerned that our hospital bag isn't packed yet. I didn't think twice about the fact that our house could use a good cleaning. I hadn't offloaded anything to anyone at work.
Those are minor things, though. I wasn't too upset about those. I was getting disappointed thinking that this isn't AT ALL how I wanted things to go at this point. Of course I wasn't delusional enough to think I could honestly control every aspect of the labor and delivery; I just didn't expect to have to be thinking about things this early (five weeks seems like a ways off to me still).
Needless to say, I'm doing WHATEVER I can to get a handle on this swelling. I'm drinking enough water to practically fill an olympic sized pool. I'm lying on my Left side, even though it's uncomfortable on my hips :) I'm eating salad, salad and more salad (no sodium!). I'm visualizing the fluid filtering through my kidneys and leaving my body. Like I said, WHATEVER I can to get this fluid out of body.
Assuming I "passed" the lab tests they drew yesterday and I can control the swelling, I should be able to make it several more weeks and then get back on track for the delivery I want.
Baby is doing great. Strong heartbeat (144 at the office yesterday), moving TONS....sticking it's little bootie out at us numerous times/day...Bubs is doing wonderfully.
I'll have my BP read this afternoon and have a follow up appt with T tomorrow. I'll keep you updated. In the meantime, would you please say a prayer that Bubs continues to do well and that my body gets its act in gear? :)
Until then, XOXO...
I feel good. Sure, I have the usual aches and pains that accompany being nearly 36 weeks pregnant, but in general, I feel good.
My heart, on the other hand, isn't handling the excess fluid very well. Over the past week or so, my swelling has been maximized which has lead to a sudden increase in my blood pressure. Until about 2 weeks ago, my BP was averaging 120/70...PERFECT! Totally perfect. Even though I had been dealing with swelling in some form or fashion since the 18th week, my BP remained excellent until just recently. Average BP yesterday was 150/102. Thats really high. And, was a big increase over my BP during my OB visit just a few days earlier.
The bottom number of a BP is the pressure your heart exerts when it's between beats... that number should be lower (70-80)...so the fact that my heart isn't really resting between beats is a slight problem.
I called my BP readings into Dr. T and he said I needed to come in for a visit. His Medical Assistant also told me over the phone that he would be putting me on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. This drew a huge laugh from me, which quickly subsided when Angela informed me that she wasn't kidding.
BED REST FOR FIVE WEEKS?
SERIOUSLY?!
Of course, I started crying (for only the 3rd time during pregnancy).
Looking back, the tears weren't really about being on bed rest. I'll do whatever I have to do to ensure Bub's safety and health.
As much as I hate to admit it, the tears were about control. I know how I want this delivery to happen and after hearing that bed rest is my likely future for the next month, my mind immediately jumped to induction and then c-section...two things I DO NOT want. Every night for weeks, I've been sitting on the yoga ball to open up my hips and begin the cervical dilation. I rock and roll on the ball, patiently swaying to and fro, mentally picturing things "opening up" down there.
Five weeks of bed rest will ruin the progress I've made up to this point. Lying down, abdomen wide open allowing the baby to shift into whatever position it wants to (instead of being encouraged to stay in the head down, face down position).....it's counterproductive to what I know needs to happen for labor and delivery.
I wasn't too concerned that our hospital bag isn't packed yet. I didn't think twice about the fact that our house could use a good cleaning. I hadn't offloaded anything to anyone at work.
Those are minor things, though. I wasn't too upset about those. I was getting disappointed thinking that this isn't AT ALL how I wanted things to go at this point. Of course I wasn't delusional enough to think I could honestly control every aspect of the labor and delivery; I just didn't expect to have to be thinking about things this early (five weeks seems like a ways off to me still).
Needless to say, I'm doing WHATEVER I can to get a handle on this swelling. I'm drinking enough water to practically fill an olympic sized pool. I'm lying on my Left side, even though it's uncomfortable on my hips :) I'm eating salad, salad and more salad (no sodium!). I'm visualizing the fluid filtering through my kidneys and leaving my body. Like I said, WHATEVER I can to get this fluid out of body.
Assuming I "passed" the lab tests they drew yesterday and I can control the swelling, I should be able to make it several more weeks and then get back on track for the delivery I want.
Baby is doing great. Strong heartbeat (144 at the office yesterday), moving TONS....sticking it's little bootie out at us numerous times/day...Bubs is doing wonderfully.
I'll have my BP read this afternoon and have a follow up appt with T tomorrow. I'll keep you updated. In the meantime, would you please say a prayer that Bubs continues to do well and that my body gets its act in gear? :)
Until then, XOXO...
Sunday, June 27, 2010
We're here :)
It has been a very busy time for us! Again, I have about 10 different posts in mind, so I hope to get them written today so I update everyone on what we've been up to and also get some answers to a few a questions I have.
Since the 3D U/S, Bubs has been VERY active! Not so much of the kicking or punching, but more actual full body movements (rolling, repositioning, etc). I imagine it's the "alien like" movements that people have told me to expect. It's really, really cool and I don't mind it at all. I've tried capturing it on video a few times, but like all babies, once the photographic evidence capturer appears, the movement stops!
Baby is active during the day and moves a little when I lay down at night, but movements don't keep me awake. I think baby has the same sleep cycle as mommy :) Let's hope that keeps up!
I feel good, although it's definitely getting more challenging to keep on my feet and get stuff done. The swelling in my feet and ankles is permanent. It used to go completely away at night, but now it just gets less (it's still present, though). I only have one pair of shoes that fit (tennis shoes that are a size 10 or 10.5).
And, I'm just going to throw it out there- I have NOT been exercising. At all. I can definitely tell a difference now that I've been so sedentary for too long. In real life, I'm not a small gal (size 14 in general), but now that I'm heavier, I can't imagine being this weight all of the time. I realize I'm developing another life inside me, but the weight is wearing on me and it's very tiring.
A friend of mine posted on Facebook that she just ran several miles and I actually got jealous of her!
Just before we got pregnant, I trained for and ran my first 5K ever. Although I can't say I ever ENJOYED the actual running, I did come to look forward to the runs. I would imagine the cold air coming into my body, nourishing my cells with oxygen and providing me with the energy I needed to get through the day. Early morning runs were the best. And I'm actually missing that.
Speaking of imagery, I'm preparing more for the actual labor and delivery. One method I'm working on is mentally preparing for the big event. We have a birth plan and part of that plan is to labor at home as safely as I can prior to being admitted to the hospital. I know this will involve so much patience and mental strength. The biggest part of this strategy is praying. Praying brings me much comfort and each night I'm praying for the patience to not be induced and also for patience during the early laboring. I also pray for strength and guidance for Hubs. He's my rock and I'll depend on him for every last ounce of strength during that time.
The other part of my strategy to help do this is to picture a happy place. MY happy place. My favorite place in the entire world is on the deck of a cruise ship in the middle of the Caribbean. I'm laying out under the sun, surrounded by beautiful, clean water. I'm breathing in the fresh Caribbean air. Usually there is a band playing quietly in the background. The warmth of the sun calms my mind and relaxes my body. Every so often, one of the crew members walks by and sprays me down with a cool mist of water, which is generally followed by an ice cold pina colada (complete with a paper umbrella and pineapple slice). The air is crisp, not humid. There is a breeze. I can hear the water splashing against the ship as we sail towards nothing.
It's wonderful.
No cell phones. No internet. No work. No drama. No pressure. No responsibility.
I've lived those moments many times in real life, and I've shared them with some of my favorite people in the world.
THAT is my happy place. I spend time every day or two picturing this place in great detail. Thinking about how wonderful it feels and how much I love being in that moment. My hope is that during labor, I'll be able to relive those moments to help work through contractions and pain.
When we approach delivery, I'm 100% thinking about the baby.
And thinking about the time when I'll no longer rub my belly and ask, on a daily basis, "what are you little one? Are you a boy or a girl?"
Until then, XOXO...
Since the 3D U/S, Bubs has been VERY active! Not so much of the kicking or punching, but more actual full body movements (rolling, repositioning, etc). I imagine it's the "alien like" movements that people have told me to expect. It's really, really cool and I don't mind it at all. I've tried capturing it on video a few times, but like all babies, once the photographic evidence capturer appears, the movement stops!
Baby is active during the day and moves a little when I lay down at night, but movements don't keep me awake. I think baby has the same sleep cycle as mommy :) Let's hope that keeps up!
I feel good, although it's definitely getting more challenging to keep on my feet and get stuff done. The swelling in my feet and ankles is permanent. It used to go completely away at night, but now it just gets less (it's still present, though). I only have one pair of shoes that fit (tennis shoes that are a size 10 or 10.5).
And, I'm just going to throw it out there- I have NOT been exercising. At all. I can definitely tell a difference now that I've been so sedentary for too long. In real life, I'm not a small gal (size 14 in general), but now that I'm heavier, I can't imagine being this weight all of the time. I realize I'm developing another life inside me, but the weight is wearing on me and it's very tiring.
A friend of mine posted on Facebook that she just ran several miles and I actually got jealous of her!
Just before we got pregnant, I trained for and ran my first 5K ever. Although I can't say I ever ENJOYED the actual running, I did come to look forward to the runs. I would imagine the cold air coming into my body, nourishing my cells with oxygen and providing me with the energy I needed to get through the day. Early morning runs were the best. And I'm actually missing that.
Speaking of imagery, I'm preparing more for the actual labor and delivery. One method I'm working on is mentally preparing for the big event. We have a birth plan and part of that plan is to labor at home as safely as I can prior to being admitted to the hospital. I know this will involve so much patience and mental strength. The biggest part of this strategy is praying. Praying brings me much comfort and each night I'm praying for the patience to not be induced and also for patience during the early laboring. I also pray for strength and guidance for Hubs. He's my rock and I'll depend on him for every last ounce of strength during that time.
The other part of my strategy to help do this is to picture a happy place. MY happy place. My favorite place in the entire world is on the deck of a cruise ship in the middle of the Caribbean. I'm laying out under the sun, surrounded by beautiful, clean water. I'm breathing in the fresh Caribbean air. Usually there is a band playing quietly in the background. The warmth of the sun calms my mind and relaxes my body. Every so often, one of the crew members walks by and sprays me down with a cool mist of water, which is generally followed by an ice cold pina colada (complete with a paper umbrella and pineapple slice). The air is crisp, not humid. There is a breeze. I can hear the water splashing against the ship as we sail towards nothing.
It's wonderful.
No cell phones. No internet. No work. No drama. No pressure. No responsibility.
I've lived those moments many times in real life, and I've shared them with some of my favorite people in the world.
THAT is my happy place. I spend time every day or two picturing this place in great detail. Thinking about how wonderful it feels and how much I love being in that moment. My hope is that during labor, I'll be able to relive those moments to help work through contractions and pain.
When we approach delivery, I'm 100% thinking about the baby.
And thinking about the time when I'll no longer rub my belly and ask, on a daily basis, "what are you little one? Are you a boy or a girl?"
Until then, XOXO...
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Bubs in 3D
Had a great time- I'll post details later, but wanted to share the pics now. Bubs was all smiles!
(the last pic is hard to make out, but it's Bubs sucking its thumb)
(the last pic is hard to make out, but it's Bubs sucking its thumb)
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Updated: Birth Plan
Laughing gas.
Apparently no one liked my last birth plan which involved passing out during the birth. Supposedly you are to be awake during the big event.
So, laughing gas it is!
Apparently no one liked my last birth plan which involved passing out during the birth. Supposedly you are to be awake during the big event.
So, laughing gas it is!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Hilarious
Hubs has a pair of men's scrub pants that he rarely wears because they're pretty big on him and b/c they're drawstring, they fall down easily ;)
Today after work, we were changing into work out clothes and I asked if he had bottoms I could wear (the Adidas pants I had been wearing are getting too tight). He offered me the scrub pants with the warning, "remember, they're HUGE [so they may not fit]."
0.2 seconds later, those scrub pants were hugging my ass. They kinda, barely fit if I can hold my breath for 25 minutes during the workout.
It was hilarious!
Today after work, we were changing into work out clothes and I asked if he had bottoms I could wear (the Adidas pants I had been wearing are getting too tight). He offered me the scrub pants with the warning, "remember, they're HUGE [so they may not fit]."
0.2 seconds later, those scrub pants were hugging my ass. They kinda, barely fit if I can hold my breath for 25 minutes during the workout.
It was hilarious!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
My birth plan
Hyperventilate until I pass out. Baby comes out during that period of unconsciousness.
Done.
Done.
A few extra minutes
Hubs and I laid in bed just a few extra minutes the other morning. I woke up and Bubs was pretty active, which is unusual. I scooted over closer to Hubs, who was still sleeping, took his hand and placed it on my lower belly. We laid there for a few minutes then Hubs, who had been lying there with his eyes closed (I wasn't sure if he was asleep or not), turned his head towards me with one eye open and asked, "was that the baby?!"
Yes, sweets, that's your baby.
Although he had felt the baby move a few weeks ago, it was only once or twice and he hadn't been able to feel it move since then.
That morning Bubs put on a show just for daddy.
Yes, sweets, that's your baby.
Although he had felt the baby move a few weeks ago, it was only once or twice and he hadn't been able to feel it move since then.
That morning Bubs put on a show just for daddy.
Week 26
Again, my apologies for the lack of blogging! I told ya'll before, it's all or nothing with me :) Now that I'm here, I have at least 1,000,000 things to say.
Today marks the 26th week. I feel really good. Last week I started working out on the elliptical machine (walking outside or using the treadmill is rough on the joints, so the elliptical is perfect). I also started doing light weight training with my arms. Since I'm convinced we're cooking a 13 lb baby, I thought I had better start preparing my arms for the postpartum baby holding. I'm working closely with one of the providers at my office to do exercises that specifically target the arm muscles I want to develop. I use 3 & 5 lb dumbbells for 3 sets of 8 reps 3-4 times/week.
I also bought a workout ball (the big ones that you sit on). Debbie told me that sitting on those help develop the pelvic muscles which will aid in delivery. Gotta be careful on that, though. My balance isn't what it used to be ;)
Bubs is making his/her presence known more often these days. It is still only a handful of times a day that it moves/punches/kicks, which is fine with me. We had some severe thunderstorms roll through town last week and while laying awake that night, Bubs rolled or flipped or something strong. It made me queasy just for a second. Then it felt kinda cool. I bet Bubs moves more while I'm sleeping, I'm just so passed out that it doesn't bother me.
We don't have too much to do around the house to get ready for the baby. The nursery is set up, but not decorated. There is a very specific type of wall shelf that I'd like to hang, assuming we can find it in stores. My BIL and SIL have one hanging in Searcy's room, but apparently it came with the house. It's a large white single shelf that hangs on the wall and has several pegs. It's similar to this, but the one I'd like is BIG (not the smaller ones you find in Target, etc):
If we can't find it in stores, my plan is to go to Doug's house and permanently borrow it out from Searcy's room. They're moving out the house soon; the owner won't miss it, will they :)
We don't currently have any decorations planned for the room. I've looked into those wall decals that you just rub-on, found some cute ones, but Hubs doesn't seem too hip on them. We'll see.
Two weeks ago we had a second U/S since the tech couldn't see the baby's face during the 20 week U/S. Dr T wanted us to come back for a second look to make sure everything on the face was growing as it should. Although this U/S wasn't as in depth as the 20 week, we saw the best pics of Bubs during this one. Bubs didn't cooperate at first, it was face down and didn't appear to have any intention of moving so we could see it's precious face. That was fine b/c the tech just played around, taking other measurements, such as the head. It was at that point where she said, "oh, OH. Wow. You sure cook babies with big heads."
Oh dear Lord. Really? Hubs grabbed my arm and then nicely said to the tech, "please don't tell her that." Even though I was already lying down, I'm pretty sure I still passed out.
Here is Bubs in all of it's baby beauty:
Everything looks great!
She also told us that Bubs was measuring 11 days head of schedule. Dr. T, based on the usual 40 weeks from your LMP, says I'm due Aug 26th. Because I know exactly when I ovulated, my own due date is Aug 22nd. The U/S is dating the baby at being due Aug 15th. So, who knows! A few days difference doesn't seem like a big deal, but an 11 day difference? I'm not sure I can handle that. Hopefully as we get closer, Dr T will adjust my due date.
I have my birth plan, which I'll save for another post. I'm hesitant to post my birth plan because people have such STRONG opinions about birth. My feeling is this: just as each pregnancy is different, so are births. However, to be honest, my birth plan is very straight forward. Stay tuned for that post.
Until then, XOXO...
Today marks the 26th week. I feel really good. Last week I started working out on the elliptical machine (walking outside or using the treadmill is rough on the joints, so the elliptical is perfect). I also started doing light weight training with my arms. Since I'm convinced we're cooking a 13 lb baby, I thought I had better start preparing my arms for the postpartum baby holding. I'm working closely with one of the providers at my office to do exercises that specifically target the arm muscles I want to develop. I use 3 & 5 lb dumbbells for 3 sets of 8 reps 3-4 times/week.
I also bought a workout ball (the big ones that you sit on). Debbie told me that sitting on those help develop the pelvic muscles which will aid in delivery. Gotta be careful on that, though. My balance isn't what it used to be ;)
Bubs is making his/her presence known more often these days. It is still only a handful of times a day that it moves/punches/kicks, which is fine with me. We had some severe thunderstorms roll through town last week and while laying awake that night, Bubs rolled or flipped or something strong. It made me queasy just for a second. Then it felt kinda cool. I bet Bubs moves more while I'm sleeping, I'm just so passed out that it doesn't bother me.
We don't have too much to do around the house to get ready for the baby. The nursery is set up, but not decorated. There is a very specific type of wall shelf that I'd like to hang, assuming we can find it in stores. My BIL and SIL have one hanging in Searcy's room, but apparently it came with the house. It's a large white single shelf that hangs on the wall and has several pegs. It's similar to this, but the one I'd like is BIG (not the smaller ones you find in Target, etc):
If we can't find it in stores, my plan is to go to Doug's house and permanently borrow it out from Searcy's room. They're moving out the house soon; the owner won't miss it, will they :)We don't currently have any decorations planned for the room. I've looked into those wall decals that you just rub-on, found some cute ones, but Hubs doesn't seem too hip on them. We'll see.
Two weeks ago we had a second U/S since the tech couldn't see the baby's face during the 20 week U/S. Dr T wanted us to come back for a second look to make sure everything on the face was growing as it should. Although this U/S wasn't as in depth as the 20 week, we saw the best pics of Bubs during this one. Bubs didn't cooperate at first, it was face down and didn't appear to have any intention of moving so we could see it's precious face. That was fine b/c the tech just played around, taking other measurements, such as the head. It was at that point where she said, "oh, OH. Wow. You sure cook babies with big heads."
Oh dear Lord. Really? Hubs grabbed my arm and then nicely said to the tech, "please don't tell her that." Even though I was already lying down, I'm pretty sure I still passed out.
Here is Bubs in all of it's baby beauty:
Everything looks great!
She also told us that Bubs was measuring 11 days head of schedule. Dr. T, based on the usual 40 weeks from your LMP, says I'm due Aug 26th. Because I know exactly when I ovulated, my own due date is Aug 22nd. The U/S is dating the baby at being due Aug 15th. So, who knows! A few days difference doesn't seem like a big deal, but an 11 day difference? I'm not sure I can handle that. Hopefully as we get closer, Dr T will adjust my due date.
I have my birth plan, which I'll save for another post. I'm hesitant to post my birth plan because people have such STRONG opinions about birth. My feeling is this: just as each pregnancy is different, so are births. However, to be honest, my birth plan is very straight forward. Stay tuned for that post.
Until then, XOXO...
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Week 23
Tomorrow, we'll be 23 weeks! I can't even believe it.
I feel great! Although I could use some more energy, I'm not complaining. After all, there are two of us dependent on this one body for life. I still think it's pretty amazing that right now, there's a small baby doll growing inside this belly. The baby books and websites have stopped comparing Bubs to food items (finally!)...now they liken Bubs to the size of a small baby doll. Since I have no desire to eat small baby dolls, that works just fine for me.
I spent a few minutes in the nursery today. The gifts have kept on coming- which is crazy amazing.
Our good friends Amy and Jon gave us TONS of baby gear- all of which is gender neutral. Among such items were:
Did you see that? It's an entire Graco travel system!
Not pictured were 3 papason-type floor seats/rockers, a bumbo w/ tray, a beautiful nursing cover/hooter hider, an exersaucer, the two bases for the bucket seat, changing pad w/ removable cover, a large activity mat, and a Boppy brand tummy time mat with mini boppy. Unbelievable! We are SO thankful for having received these items! They're in great shape and if you didn't know any better, you'd walk into our house and think we had 2 babies already :) We are so blessed to have amazing family and friends that are giving us stuff!
My mom has also stepped in and well, 'nough said:
(Speaking of which, while we're not sharing baby names that are in serious consideration, I'm more than happy to share names that Hubs immediately ruled out...mainly Peyton, Indy, or Colt. He's no fun, is he? And, for the record, I would seriously name a boy any of those.)
Janette, a gal I work with, and her husband Ryan gave us this Eddie Bauer BRAND NEW bucket seat w/ base (her son used it a handful of times and you can't even tell):
Robin M practically took me shopping in their basement two weekends ago and I walked away with quite a bit of loot- including a Boppy for me and several baby girl items to pass onto my BFF (who found out that she's having a GIRL!).
Finally, one of my best friends at work, Susie, gave me a bag full of adorable baby clothes. If they weren't drying in the dryer right now, I'd post pics of those too. Also included in the bag were still-in-the-package medicine droppers/spoons, still-in-the-package rattle slippers, and a few other baby items.
I don't intend for all of my posts to be about material items, but it is SO overwhelming (in the best way possible) to feel the love that our family and friends have for our unborn child. You KNOW you have good friends, but when they're just as excited about your baby as you are, then it makes an already amazing experience even more so.
Tomorrow is 23 weeks. This means that tonight, just after Hubs and I have crawled into bed and settled in nicely under the covers, he'll reach for the baby book and read about the 23rd week. We'll laugh about the symptoms I still haven't experienced (larger boobs), take comfort in those I have (headaches and gagging), and learn about what Bubs will be up to over the next few days. Then, Hubs will turn off the lamp next to his side of the bed, scoot over to my side of the bed (dodging both body pillows), kiss my forehead and say, "night momma, night Bubs."
Then I'll fall asleep and have my 6th dream that Bubs is a [insert gender here].
(And Hubs will comment under his breath about how he'd better fall asleep before me lest my snoring keeps him up.)
Until then, XOXO...
I feel great! Although I could use some more energy, I'm not complaining. After all, there are two of us dependent on this one body for life. I still think it's pretty amazing that right now, there's a small baby doll growing inside this belly. The baby books and websites have stopped comparing Bubs to food items (finally!)...now they liken Bubs to the size of a small baby doll. Since I have no desire to eat small baby dolls, that works just fine for me.
I spent a few minutes in the nursery today. The gifts have kept on coming- which is crazy amazing.
Our good friends Amy and Jon gave us TONS of baby gear- all of which is gender neutral. Among such items were:
Did you see that? It's an entire Graco travel system!Not pictured were 3 papason-type floor seats/rockers, a bumbo w/ tray, a beautiful nursing cover/hooter hider, an exersaucer, the two bases for the bucket seat, changing pad w/ removable cover, a large activity mat, and a Boppy brand tummy time mat with mini boppy. Unbelievable! We are SO thankful for having received these items! They're in great shape and if you didn't know any better, you'd walk into our house and think we had 2 babies already :) We are so blessed to have amazing family and friends that are giving us stuff!
My mom has also stepped in and well, 'nough said:
(Speaking of which, while we're not sharing baby names that are in serious consideration, I'm more than happy to share names that Hubs immediately ruled out...mainly Peyton, Indy, or Colt. He's no fun, is he? And, for the record, I would seriously name a boy any of those.)Janette, a gal I work with, and her husband Ryan gave us this Eddie Bauer BRAND NEW bucket seat w/ base (her son used it a handful of times and you can't even tell):
Robin M practically took me shopping in their basement two weekends ago and I walked away with quite a bit of loot- including a Boppy for me and several baby girl items to pass onto my BFF (who found out that she's having a GIRL!).
Finally, one of my best friends at work, Susie, gave me a bag full of adorable baby clothes. If they weren't drying in the dryer right now, I'd post pics of those too. Also included in the bag were still-in-the-package medicine droppers/spoons, still-in-the-package rattle slippers, and a few other baby items.
I don't intend for all of my posts to be about material items, but it is SO overwhelming (in the best way possible) to feel the love that our family and friends have for our unborn child. You KNOW you have good friends, but when they're just as excited about your baby as you are, then it makes an already amazing experience even more so.
Tomorrow is 23 weeks. This means that tonight, just after Hubs and I have crawled into bed and settled in nicely under the covers, he'll reach for the baby book and read about the 23rd week. We'll laugh about the symptoms I still haven't experienced (larger boobs), take comfort in those I have (headaches and gagging), and learn about what Bubs will be up to over the next few days. Then, Hubs will turn off the lamp next to his side of the bed, scoot over to my side of the bed (dodging both body pillows), kiss my forehead and say, "night momma, night Bubs."
Then I'll fall asleep and have my 6th dream that Bubs is a [insert gender here].
(And Hubs will comment under his breath about how he'd better fall asleep before me lest my snoring keeps him up.)
Until then, XOXO...
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Bubs is real
On April 13th, I felt Bubs really move for the first time! Hubs and I were sitting in his office, talking about a new service he's going to offer, and Bubs kicked/punched and I nearly jumped out of my seat! It happened again just a few seconds later. It almost took my breath away (literally and figuratively).
It was unmistakeably Bubs. Since then, Bubs makes his/her presence known throughout the day. It's not excessive at this point. Usually at night after a few Fla-vor-ices Bubs is really active.
Feeling the baby move is nothing like I expected. I thought it would be more "just under the skin." Instead, it's really, really deep inside me. Mostly it tickles and I smile, but every once in a while, it's a raw jab. I think once it happens more frequently, I'll stop jumping every time I can feel him/her. I have a terrible startle response and unexpected moves from inside rank high on the list of things that set it off :)
During the 20 week Ultrasound, it was weird for me to see Bubs moving around inside, but not be able to feel it. We would see the arm move above the head, and then back down again, but I felt nothing. Now, 2 weeks later, I'm putting the U/S movements in my mind together with the movements I feel. It's wonderful.
Bubs 20 week U/S is on the fridge and nearly every time I grab something to eat or drink, I linger a little longer. I wonder what Bubs is thinking. I wonder what kind of things Bubs will like to do, what his/her favorite color will be, and if Bubs will inherit Hubs singing talent. Will Bubs be always on the go and chatty like me or laid back and more reserved like daddy?
Almost every day I imagine the moment of birth. How special will that be? Bubs is much more than a 9 month baby-in-the-making to us. I'm very used to getting what I want when I want it. Trying to get pregnant certainly challenged that behavior. Having something so important to us be so out of my control kept me more than grounded. Looking back, I'm certain the faith and patience I further developed prior to pregnancy was all part of the plan. I NEEDED that to be a better mom.
I also plan, plan, plan and plan some more. Being uncertain of Bubs gender has me altering that behavior, too. I absolutely love NOT being able to plan every single detail for Bubs. It's almost a mental relief for me. If I knew the gender, I would probably be in hyper-planning mode and I would be more focused on insignificant details than on the baby. With an uncertain gender, I'm planning what I can, but I'm much more focused on the baby and enjoying the pregnancy than I may have been otherwise. It's a blessing that I'm so thankful to be experiencing.
Don't get me wrong, I especially can't wait to hear the phrase, "it's a ____!" I'm just really enjoying the time between now and then.
Until then, XOXO....
It was unmistakeably Bubs. Since then, Bubs makes his/her presence known throughout the day. It's not excessive at this point. Usually at night after a few Fla-vor-ices Bubs is really active.
Feeling the baby move is nothing like I expected. I thought it would be more "just under the skin." Instead, it's really, really deep inside me. Mostly it tickles and I smile, but every once in a while, it's a raw jab. I think once it happens more frequently, I'll stop jumping every time I can feel him/her. I have a terrible startle response and unexpected moves from inside rank high on the list of things that set it off :)
During the 20 week Ultrasound, it was weird for me to see Bubs moving around inside, but not be able to feel it. We would see the arm move above the head, and then back down again, but I felt nothing. Now, 2 weeks later, I'm putting the U/S movements in my mind together with the movements I feel. It's wonderful.
Bubs 20 week U/S is on the fridge and nearly every time I grab something to eat or drink, I linger a little longer. I wonder what Bubs is thinking. I wonder what kind of things Bubs will like to do, what his/her favorite color will be, and if Bubs will inherit Hubs singing talent. Will Bubs be always on the go and chatty like me or laid back and more reserved like daddy?
Almost every day I imagine the moment of birth. How special will that be? Bubs is much more than a 9 month baby-in-the-making to us. I'm very used to getting what I want when I want it. Trying to get pregnant certainly challenged that behavior. Having something so important to us be so out of my control kept me more than grounded. Looking back, I'm certain the faith and patience I further developed prior to pregnancy was all part of the plan. I NEEDED that to be a better mom.
I also plan, plan, plan and plan some more. Being uncertain of Bubs gender has me altering that behavior, too. I absolutely love NOT being able to plan every single detail for Bubs. It's almost a mental relief for me. If I knew the gender, I would probably be in hyper-planning mode and I would be more focused on insignificant details than on the baby. With an uncertain gender, I'm planning what I can, but I'm much more focused on the baby and enjoying the pregnancy than I may have been otherwise. It's a blessing that I'm so thankful to be experiencing.
Don't get me wrong, I especially can't wait to hear the phrase, "it's a ____!" I'm just really enjoying the time between now and then.
Until then, XOXO....
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Maternity Fair
This morning, Hubs and I attended our first maternity fair. It was sponsored by the hospital where Bubs will make its grand entrance into the world.
It was very, very helpful for me. I met several lactation consultants who gave me some good education on nursing. One suggested mothers start self expressing at 36 weeks. Interesting. I can't get too much into detail because, well, I still gag thinking about boobie milk.
I also spoke with the gal who owns Lactations, which is a motherhood/nursing store in the area. That's the store that carries the hooter hider/nursing cover that I want. I found out that they have a registry, so I definitely plan on going there and picking out a few things (although, I realize that most people prefer buying baby items, not necessarily items for the mama, so I'm not sure how many people would go there to buy a gift).
I met a doula who is also pregnancy massage certified. Of course I took her up on her offer to "jump on the table" and get a quick massage. It felt SOOOOOO good. Ah man, did it feel good.
We also registered for all of the freebie baskets that were available.
And, the big news of the day is that Hubs won a high chair! He was the only man at the fair when we first arrived. He kept whispering to me, "one of these things is not like the other." Honestly, he didn't mind, though. He was interacting with the vendors and learning just as much as I was.
After we got home, I asked if he would put the high chair together (I realize that the baby won't be using a high chair for some time, but I can't stand having something and not having it put together!).
I like the wipes holder in the back. I hope I remember to keep it filled. It's a gender neutral pattern that we like, so we're very thankful to have won this!
All in all, it was time well spent.
Oh yea, and the Special Delivery dept of the hospital had a visual of how the cervix expands and thins during labor. I nearly passed out. Needless to say, I'm still in total denial that this baby will be coming out of me.
Until then, XOXO...
It was very, very helpful for me. I met several lactation consultants who gave me some good education on nursing. One suggested mothers start self expressing at 36 weeks. Interesting. I can't get too much into detail because, well, I still gag thinking about boobie milk.
I also spoke with the gal who owns Lactations, which is a motherhood/nursing store in the area. That's the store that carries the hooter hider/nursing cover that I want. I found out that they have a registry, so I definitely plan on going there and picking out a few things (although, I realize that most people prefer buying baby items, not necessarily items for the mama, so I'm not sure how many people would go there to buy a gift).
I met a doula who is also pregnancy massage certified. Of course I took her up on her offer to "jump on the table" and get a quick massage. It felt SOOOOOO good. Ah man, did it feel good.
We also registered for all of the freebie baskets that were available.
And, the big news of the day is that Hubs won a high chair! He was the only man at the fair when we first arrived. He kept whispering to me, "one of these things is not like the other." Honestly, he didn't mind, though. He was interacting with the vendors and learning just as much as I was.
After we got home, I asked if he would put the high chair together (I realize that the baby won't be using a high chair for some time, but I can't stand having something and not having it put together!).
I like the wipes holder in the back. I hope I remember to keep it filled. It's a gender neutral pattern that we like, so we're very thankful to have won this!All in all, it was time well spent.
Oh yea, and the Special Delivery dept of the hospital had a visual of how the cervix expands and thins during labor. I nearly passed out. Needless to say, I'm still in total denial that this baby will be coming out of me.
Until then, XOXO...
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Cooper, the first Baby Lotz
Recently, I learned that 76% of Americans treat their dog as a member of the family. We are no different.
Cooper was our first baby. Remember how stinking cute he was??
I know that some families send their dogs to stay somewhere else the first few days after they return home from the hospital following the birth of a child. I think this is very reasonable. There seems to be enough to worry about with a new baby at home, no need to add another layer of responsibility with the dog.
I've thought about what to do with Cooper during those first few days home (well, and also what to do with him while we're in the hospital). At this point, I can't imagine Cooper NOT being home with us, especially during the first few days.
You see, Coop is a great dog. He minds when he should, he doesn't eat things he's not supposed to eat, he doesn't go to the bathroom in the house; he just gives love. Lots and lots of love.
I think that if, during our hospital stay, Cooper is at Doggy Day Camp, he'll not only get to have his fun, but he'll be pretty tired when we get home from the hospital with the babes. After a stay at camp, he is still alert and full of love, but he's more relaxed and calm that usual. I think this state of mind will be the ideal way for our two babies to be introduced.
We've heard two suggestions to help transition Cooper:
I think Cooper is going to be Bubs biggest fan.
Cooper is also going to be a big help during the midnight feedings. Right now, when I have trouble sleeping and I head downstairs for a few hours, Cooper comes with me. It always makes me feel safer and reminds me that I'm not alone. (Side note: with as much alone time as I had at night when Hubs lived in Omaha and I slept alone every night in our big house, you'd think I wouldn't mind being home alone. I don't really mind it, but I don't prefer it.)
I imagine that when I get up to feed Bubs, Cooper will come in and lay down next to the recliner to keep us company. He's going to be a great big brother.
So for now, the plan is for Cooper to be at home when we arrive with the bundle of Bubs. (That is subject to change, however, as we approach D day)
Also, I'm fully preparing myself for the event that Bubs is a boy and I'm the only female in the entire house. I think that would entitle me to mani/pedis for life.
On the other hand, if Bubs is a girl, that's another mani/pedi entitlement because it would for sure be a great way to bond with her.
Either way, I'm securing mani/pedis for life. Guaranteed.
I'm just sayin'...
Cooper was our first baby. Remember how stinking cute he was??
I know that some families send their dogs to stay somewhere else the first few days after they return home from the hospital following the birth of a child. I think this is very reasonable. There seems to be enough to worry about with a new baby at home, no need to add another layer of responsibility with the dog.I've thought about what to do with Cooper during those first few days home (well, and also what to do with him while we're in the hospital). At this point, I can't imagine Cooper NOT being home with us, especially during the first few days.
You see, Coop is a great dog. He minds when he should, he doesn't eat things he's not supposed to eat, he doesn't go to the bathroom in the house; he just gives love. Lots and lots of love.
I think that if, during our hospital stay, Cooper is at Doggy Day Camp, he'll not only get to have his fun, but he'll be pretty tired when we get home from the hospital with the babes. After a stay at camp, he is still alert and full of love, but he's more relaxed and calm that usual. I think this state of mind will be the ideal way for our two babies to be introduced.
We've heard two suggestions to help transition Cooper:
- Bring a blanket home from the hospital that has Bubs scent on it and let Cooper get used to Bubs smell from that
- At the first meeting, keep bubs in the bucket carrier, covered up with a blanket, except for her/his toes. Let Cooper sniff and explore Bubs and also lick Bubs feet. Teach Cooper not to lick Bubs anywhere else (for now) except on those little toes.
I think Cooper is going to be Bubs biggest fan.
Cooper is also going to be a big help during the midnight feedings. Right now, when I have trouble sleeping and I head downstairs for a few hours, Cooper comes with me. It always makes me feel safer and reminds me that I'm not alone. (Side note: with as much alone time as I had at night when Hubs lived in Omaha and I slept alone every night in our big house, you'd think I wouldn't mind being home alone. I don't really mind it, but I don't prefer it.)
I imagine that when I get up to feed Bubs, Cooper will come in and lay down next to the recliner to keep us company. He's going to be a great big brother.
So for now, the plan is for Cooper to be at home when we arrive with the bundle of Bubs. (That is subject to change, however, as we approach D day)
Also, I'm fully preparing myself for the event that Bubs is a boy and I'm the only female in the entire house. I think that would entitle me to mani/pedis for life.
On the other hand, if Bubs is a girl, that's another mani/pedi entitlement because it would for sure be a great way to bond with her.
Either way, I'm securing mani/pedis for life. Guaranteed.
I'm just sayin'...
Saturday, March 27, 2010
The loot
From the day we first told anyone we're pregnant, we've received SO MANY things from friends and families. Gifts of clothes (both gently used and new), baby gear, books, it's been overwhelming at times :)
In my crazy mind, a part of me was worried that because we are one of the last of our friends to start a family, we would be "just another pregnancy" to people.
I'll explain:
During our wedding planning, I felt this way too. We were the first of our friends to start dating and we were the last to get married. I wondered if any of our college friends would attend since we married 3 years after I graduated AND the wedding was held in St. Louis (we went to college in Lexington, KY). Everyone else married before we did. Being the selfish person I can sometimes be, I worried that because there were a number of weddings prior to ours, our friends would tire of weddings and we would be "just another wedding" they had to attend.
It didn't turn out that way. At. All.
Our wedding was more than I could have ever dreamed. We have the best family and friends. Over 30 of our college friends drove 4 hours (or more), many flew in from out of state, paid for 1-2 nights at the hotel, all so they could see Hubs and I say our vows. We knew that our wedding was special for us; our family and friends made it very clear that it was special to them as well.
This pregnancy is no different. Bubs is not the first grand baby on either side of the family; Bubs isn't the first girl; Bubs isn't the first boy.
But, again, family and friends are making it perfectly clear that Bubs isn't "just another baby" in their lives. They are proving that my crazy thoughts were just those, crazy thoughts. Nothing more.
I love our family and friends!
And, apparently, they love BUBS!
They express their love through much more than material items, but I can't take pictures of their unconditional support and love :) I can, however, take pics of the loot!
There are also several books from the in-laws (in addition to some of the clothes above), but those are upstairs and well, I'm lazy :)
My little sister also gave us stacks of clothes and diapers, but those are currently in the washing machine (the clothes, not the diapers :) ).
I can't wait for the furniture to arrive tomorrow so I can start filling up those drawers with this cuteness :)
Until then, XOXO....
In my crazy mind, a part of me was worried that because we are one of the last of our friends to start a family, we would be "just another pregnancy" to people.
I'll explain:
During our wedding planning, I felt this way too. We were the first of our friends to start dating and we were the last to get married. I wondered if any of our college friends would attend since we married 3 years after I graduated AND the wedding was held in St. Louis (we went to college in Lexington, KY). Everyone else married before we did. Being the selfish person I can sometimes be, I worried that because there were a number of weddings prior to ours, our friends would tire of weddings and we would be "just another wedding" they had to attend.
It didn't turn out that way. At. All.
Our wedding was more than I could have ever dreamed. We have the best family and friends. Over 30 of our college friends drove 4 hours (or more), many flew in from out of state, paid for 1-2 nights at the hotel, all so they could see Hubs and I say our vows. We knew that our wedding was special for us; our family and friends made it very clear that it was special to them as well.
This pregnancy is no different. Bubs is not the first grand baby on either side of the family; Bubs isn't the first girl; Bubs isn't the first boy.
But, again, family and friends are making it perfectly clear that Bubs isn't "just another baby" in their lives. They are proving that my crazy thoughts were just those, crazy thoughts. Nothing more.
I love our family and friends!
And, apparently, they love BUBS!
They express their love through much more than material items, but I can't take pictures of their unconditional support and love :) I can, however, take pics of the loot!
There are also several books from the in-laws (in addition to some of the clothes above), but those are upstairs and well, I'm lazy :)My little sister also gave us stacks of clothes and diapers, but those are currently in the washing machine (the clothes, not the diapers :) ).
I can't wait for the furniture to arrive tomorrow so I can start filling up those drawers with this cuteness :)
Until then, XOXO....
Saturday, March 13, 2010
And then it happened
This was a great week to be pregnant! Although it hit a rough patch, it ended on the highest of notes.
I feel good. I had this big long post planned out in my head about the craziness we endured on Wed evening, but I've decided to minimize the negative and focus on the positive.
Wed evening highlights: puked on the bedspread, two rounds of prenatal pills, bedspread in the washing machine which triggered the circuit breaker to flip off, no power in our bedroom Wed night, Hubs cleaned up a washing machine gone wild, battery powered alarm clock died.
I slept great! And Hubs is my hero for cleaning and fixing while I kept falling asleep mid-crisis.
I ate ZERO protein on Wed, which I sense played a large part of the late evening pukeness. I didn't intentionally avoid meat. It just happened that everything I ate during the day was healthy veggies :)
Veggies taste SO GOOD to me right now. Truth be told, I could probably live on Imo's side salads and Subway Veggie subs for the next 5 months :) Yum.
Onto more important things: WE FINALLY GOT TO MEET BUBS!! We had our 16 (well, almost 17 week) appt on Friday. Hubs and I were reluctant to ask for the ultrasound but my lovely mom went with us and she asked.
You see, I have this thing about not wanting to be "that" patient. It's hard to describe and people think I'm crazy, but I don't want to be the high maintenance patient that has a set of demands at every visit. I don't want to call the doctors office at the smallest sign of a potential problem (that's what my mom, Jennie, Debbie, Martha, Amy, and well, all of my friends are for) and I just want to be a good, easy going, low maintenance patient. My dad is also pretty well known in the community and I'm always aware of the fact that if I ask for something "extra," people can misinterpret that as me thinking I'm entitled to it b/c of who I am. And, I'm not like that, at all. Call me crazy, but I just want to be another patient on the doctors schedule.
Having said that, we REALLY wanted to see Bubs. We had gone 16 weeks without seeing Bubs and we certainly could have waited another 3-4 week until the REAL U/S, but my patience was wearing thin (I guess I really am "that" patient, I just don't want to be perceived that way :) ).
Initially, Hubs hadn't planned on being at this appt. When we scheduled it, we knew it would be a very routine, very quick visit. Hubs is a busy psychologist so anytime he's not at work seeing patients, I feel a little guilty so I gave him the a-OKay to skip this visit. As the visit neared, I realized I never want to attend an OB appt alone. As much as it SHOULD be a routine visit, you just never know, so I asked the next best thing to my husband to attend...my mom. She's awesome and always puts me at ease so I was very glad she could go with me.
A few days before our appt, my BFF had her OB appt and they couldn't find the heartbeat, so they did another U/S. I told this to Hubs and he began thinking, "what if they want to do an U/S at our appt and I'm not there...." so he rescheduled a few patients and made it to the appt.
I may have dropped a few hints to my mom that maybe she should inquire as to the possibility of seeing Bubs during this appt. And, she happily obliged! As it turns out, she and my dad will be on vacation during our 20 week appt and the REAL U/S, so she politely asked Dr. T if Gramma could see the baby today since they won't be here during the next appt. Dr. T graciously agreed and well: World, meet Bubs :)
Many of you know how awesome this experience is- after nearly 17 weeks of knowing you have this baby inside you, it is unreal to finally be able to SEE the life you've created. It's amazing (and ya'll know I don't use that word liberally).
My blood pressure at the appt was perfect, again (120/77). Seriously, it doesn't get any better than that. Again, I can thank my friend, Magnesium, for the healthy heart and the efficient muscles that are helping me through the physical changes.
I also got online to Target and set up a baby registry. We'll eventually go into the store and use the scanning gun to fine tune the list, but to be honest, I'm kinda dreading that part. You see, one of the few fights Hubs and I have ever had occurred during our wedding registry process. It didn't have anything to do with the scanning gun, but more of the fact that Hubs, who is normally pretty indecisive, all of a sudden had an opinion about, well, damn near everything. Where was the easy going, indecisive gentleman I had been dating for 6+ years? :)
(In case you're wondering, the only other big arguments in our nearly 12 year relationship involve Brown Bagger (a former friend of mine) and White Castle.)
I figure if I can keep our baby registry list updated online, we can minimize any potential differences of opinion and remain married during the pregnancy :)
Of course, I'mnot kidding. Hubs has already given great input into our purchases thus far (mainly the furniture), so I'm confident we'll make it through the baby registry without any major uprisings.
Oh, as an update on the nursery, we've decided to switch baby rooms. We originally were going to use the smaller room for the nursery, but Hubs talked me into using the bigger room. It makes more sense and will require less moving and rearranging (over the next few years). We spent this morning cleaning out the closets and deciding where the existing furniture will ultimately end up. Now Hubs just needs tobribe ask our male friends for a few hours of their time one day so we can get it all moved about the house. With the three males he has in mind, it'll take just an hour or so to get it all moved.
The furniture arrives in May, so the room needs to be ready by the end of April. We already have some of those weekends committed to social events, so time seems to be limited. I'm not sure Hubs realizes that is just around the corner ;)
I'd like some of your thoughts on the set up of the nursery, but I'll address that in the next post.
In the meantime, I have a favor to ask. I know several people in the trying to conceive process who could use some prayers. Having been in their position for some time, my heart goes out to them. The testing, the doctor visits, waiting on results, wondering why your body isn't acting like it should...it is a very draining process. We know it well. Those friends and their situations are never far from my mind. Please say a quick prayer that their faith be strong and their prayers be heard. It would mean a lot to me if you'd do that.
Until next time, XOXO....
I feel good. I had this big long post planned out in my head about the craziness we endured on Wed evening, but I've decided to minimize the negative and focus on the positive.
Wed evening highlights: puked on the bedspread, two rounds of prenatal pills, bedspread in the washing machine which triggered the circuit breaker to flip off, no power in our bedroom Wed night, Hubs cleaned up a washing machine gone wild, battery powered alarm clock died.
I slept great! And Hubs is my hero for cleaning and fixing while I kept falling asleep mid-crisis.
I ate ZERO protein on Wed, which I sense played a large part of the late evening pukeness. I didn't intentionally avoid meat. It just happened that everything I ate during the day was healthy veggies :)
Veggies taste SO GOOD to me right now. Truth be told, I could probably live on Imo's side salads and Subway Veggie subs for the next 5 months :) Yum.
Onto more important things: WE FINALLY GOT TO MEET BUBS!! We had our 16 (well, almost 17 week) appt on Friday. Hubs and I were reluctant to ask for the ultrasound but my lovely mom went with us and she asked.
You see, I have this thing about not wanting to be "that" patient. It's hard to describe and people think I'm crazy, but I don't want to be the high maintenance patient that has a set of demands at every visit. I don't want to call the doctors office at the smallest sign of a potential problem (that's what my mom, Jennie, Debbie, Martha, Amy, and well, all of my friends are for) and I just want to be a good, easy going, low maintenance patient. My dad is also pretty well known in the community and I'm always aware of the fact that if I ask for something "extra," people can misinterpret that as me thinking I'm entitled to it b/c of who I am. And, I'm not like that, at all. Call me crazy, but I just want to be another patient on the doctors schedule.
Having said that, we REALLY wanted to see Bubs. We had gone 16 weeks without seeing Bubs and we certainly could have waited another 3-4 week until the REAL U/S, but my patience was wearing thin (I guess I really am "that" patient, I just don't want to be perceived that way :) ).
Initially, Hubs hadn't planned on being at this appt. When we scheduled it, we knew it would be a very routine, very quick visit. Hubs is a busy psychologist so anytime he's not at work seeing patients, I feel a little guilty so I gave him the a-OKay to skip this visit. As the visit neared, I realized I never want to attend an OB appt alone. As much as it SHOULD be a routine visit, you just never know, so I asked the next best thing to my husband to attend...my mom. She's awesome and always puts me at ease so I was very glad she could go with me.
A few days before our appt, my BFF had her OB appt and they couldn't find the heartbeat, so they did another U/S. I told this to Hubs and he began thinking, "what if they want to do an U/S at our appt and I'm not there...." so he rescheduled a few patients and made it to the appt.
I may have dropped a few hints to my mom that maybe she should inquire as to the possibility of seeing Bubs during this appt. And, she happily obliged! As it turns out, she and my dad will be on vacation during our 20 week appt and the REAL U/S, so she politely asked Dr. T if Gramma could see the baby today since they won't be here during the next appt. Dr. T graciously agreed and well: World, meet Bubs :)
Many of you know how awesome this experience is- after nearly 17 weeks of knowing you have this baby inside you, it is unreal to finally be able to SEE the life you've created. It's amazing (and ya'll know I don't use that word liberally).
My blood pressure at the appt was perfect, again (120/77). Seriously, it doesn't get any better than that. Again, I can thank my friend, Magnesium, for the healthy heart and the efficient muscles that are helping me through the physical changes.
I also got online to Target and set up a baby registry. We'll eventually go into the store and use the scanning gun to fine tune the list, but to be honest, I'm kinda dreading that part. You see, one of the few fights Hubs and I have ever had occurred during our wedding registry process. It didn't have anything to do with the scanning gun, but more of the fact that Hubs, who is normally pretty indecisive, all of a sudden had an opinion about, well, damn near everything. Where was the easy going, indecisive gentleman I had been dating for 6+ years? :)
(In case you're wondering, the only other big arguments in our nearly 12 year relationship involve Brown Bagger (a former friend of mine) and White Castle.)
I figure if I can keep our baby registry list updated online, we can minimize any potential differences of opinion and remain married during the pregnancy :)
Of course, I'm
Oh, as an update on the nursery, we've decided to switch baby rooms. We originally were going to use the smaller room for the nursery, but Hubs talked me into using the bigger room. It makes more sense and will require less moving and rearranging (over the next few years). We spent this morning cleaning out the closets and deciding where the existing furniture will ultimately end up. Now Hubs just needs to
The furniture arrives in May, so the room needs to be ready by the end of April. We already have some of those weekends committed to social events, so time seems to be limited. I'm not sure Hubs realizes that is just around the corner ;)
I'd like some of your thoughts on the set up of the nursery, but I'll address that in the next post.
In the meantime, I have a favor to ask. I know several people in the trying to conceive process who could use some prayers. Having been in their position for some time, my heart goes out to them. The testing, the doctor visits, waiting on results, wondering why your body isn't acting like it should...it is a very draining process. We know it well. Those friends and their situations are never far from my mind. Please say a quick prayer that their faith be strong and their prayers be heard. It would mean a lot to me if you'd do that.
Until next time, XOXO....
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