Bubs is real

On April 13th, I felt Bubs really move for the first time! Hubs and I were sitting in his office, talking about a new service he's going to offer, and Bubs kicked/punched and I nearly jumped out of my seat! It happened again just a few seconds later. It almost took my breath away (literally and figuratively).

It was unmistakeably Bubs. Since then, Bubs makes his/her presence known throughout the day. It's not excessive at this point. Usually at night after a few Fla-vor-ices Bubs is really active.

Feeling the baby move is nothing like I expected. I thought it would be more "just under the skin." Instead, it's really, really deep inside me. Mostly it tickles and I smile, but every once in a while, it's a raw jab. I think once it happens more frequently, I'll stop jumping every time I can feel him/her. I have a terrible startle response and unexpected moves from inside rank high on the list of things that set it off :)

During the 20 week Ultrasound, it was weird for me to see Bubs moving around inside, but not be able to feel it. We would see the arm move above the head, and then back down again, but I felt nothing. Now, 2 weeks later, I'm putting the U/S movements in my mind together with the movements I feel. It's wonderful.

Bubs 20 week U/S is on the fridge and nearly every time I grab something to eat or drink, I linger a little longer. I wonder what Bubs is thinking. I wonder what kind of things Bubs will like to do, what his/her favorite color will be, and if Bubs will inherit Hubs singing talent. Will Bubs be always on the go and chatty like me or laid back and more reserved like daddy?

Almost every day I imagine the moment of birth. How special will that be? Bubs is much more than a 9 month baby-in-the-making to us. I'm very used to getting what I want when I want it. Trying to get pregnant certainly challenged that behavior. Having something so important to us be so out of my control kept me more than grounded. Looking back, I'm certain the faith and patience I further developed prior to pregnancy was all part of the plan. I NEEDED that to be a better mom.

I also plan, plan, plan and plan some more. Being uncertain of Bubs gender has me altering that behavior, too. I absolutely love NOT being able to plan every single detail for Bubs. It's almost a mental relief for me. If I knew the gender, I would probably be in hyper-planning mode and I would be more focused on insignificant details than on the baby. With an uncertain gender, I'm planning what I can, but I'm much more focused on the baby and enjoying the pregnancy than I may have been otherwise. It's a blessing that I'm so thankful to be experiencing.

Don't get me wrong, I especially can't wait to hear the phrase, "it's a ____!" I'm just really enjoying the time between now and then.

Until then, XOXO....